Aug 24, 2023

Are you Caught in the Grip of Relationship Addiction? Ep: 141

Updated: Sep 11, 2023

Do you know what love addiction is?

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What to Expect This Episode:

Recent research shows that it's possible to become addicted to a relationship, a phenomenon referred to as love addiction. Picture this: the rush of happiness at the start of a relationship when those feel-good chemicals like endorphins and dopamine flood your brain, making you feel like you're on top of the world. But when things turn unhealthy or the relationship ends, you're suddenly hit with a wave of deep sadness and depression. It's a tough emotional roller coaster to navigate.

For some, especially those with certain personality traits, this roller coaster becomes addictive. The intense emotional highs and lows bring a level of excitement and drama that's hard to find elsewhere, leading to a cycle of breaking up and getting back together. The pattern becomes a way of seeking the intense emotional experiences that make them feel alive and happy. This constant cycle can wreak havoc on other aspects of life, leading to irrational decisions, difficulty focusing on anything else, and neglecting important relationships outside the romantic one.

If you find yourself in this pattern or know someone who does, it's crucial to seek support from a therapist, coach, or other mental health professional. These experts can help address the underlying emotional issues and guide you toward healthier, more fulfilling relationships in the future.

Let's dive deeper into what fuels this addiction. A powerful psychological phenomenon known as a trauma bond can play a significant role in keeping us tethered to harmful relationships. This bond is like a cycle of rewards and punishments that manipulates our feelings. It starts with the hope for those small moments of relief from the pain caused by the partner. This hope becomes addictive, making us believe that change is possible, even when the person causing the harm is the one we're hoping will fix us.

A trauma bond follows a three-phase pattern:

1. **Tension Building:** Minor conflicts and emotional distance lead to increasing tension. The victim tries to prevent conflict by appeasing the abusive partner.

2. **Explosive Incident:** The built-up tension reaches a breaking point, resulting in a major conflict or abusive incident. This phase is marked by shock, fear, and sometimes self-blame.

3. **Reconciliation and Calm:** The abusive partner shows remorse, apologizes, and offers reassurances, creating a sense of relief for the victim. These moments of affection or kindness reinforce the victim's hope for change.

Breaking free from a trauma bond is a complex process that often requires external support, like therapy or coaching, as well as the backing of friends and family. Recognizing the patterns and dynamics of the relationship is the crucial first step toward healing.

If you're dealing with a trauma bond, you're likely not experiencing peace. However, even small changes can make a big difference. That's why Kierstyn and Tiffany want to give you access to their "7 Days to Peace" program, available for free for a limited time on their Reclaim You app, which can be found on both the Apple iOS store and the Google Play store.

Listener Question: Is a trauma bond formed when two people share their past traumas? Actually, trauma bonding is quite different. It's a psychological response to abuse where the victim forms an unhealthy attachment to their abuser. For example, think of Stockholm syndrome, where captives develop sympathy or affection for their captors. This skewed perception hinders them from fully understanding the severity of their situation.

If you find yourself entangled in a relationship that's causing more harm than good, remember that you don't have to face it alone—support is out there, waiting to help you on your journey toward healthier relationships and personal growth.

xoxo Kierstyn and Tiffany